Traumatic and Violent Loss Specialized Zoom Gathering

Hello Twins,

I hope you are all well and keeping safe. We also hope you have made it through the pandemic with not too much disruption.

As we begin to turn the corner on this horrific virus, there are a couple of things we can be thankful about. One item in particular we can feel good about is that we have learned how to Zoom, connecting people around the country and even around the world although we cannot meet in person. As Regional Coordinators for Twinless Twins Support Group International, we discussed how, with the new technology, we could reach more twins across a far greater distance and go beyond the traditional regional meetings. With support from the organization, we have set up a program of special meetings determined by how you lost your twin or how recent your loss.

Our facilitator: Margaret Daffin, identical twin-sister to Josephine (Josie) Wilson, was born on May 18, 1947 in London, England. Twin Josie was murdered on May 3, 1996, aged 48 years. Margaret became a member of Twinless Twins Support Group International in July 1996 and attended her first conference in Chicago in 1997, and has now attended 23 annual conferences.

Margaret has served on the Board of Directors of TTSGI for many years. She proofreads for the Twinless Times newsletter and other publications, and is Chairperson of the Fundraising Committee.

Margaret moved to the United States in 1973 and after living in several different states she has made Houston, Texas her home.

Our host: Carolyn Shane, fraternal twin to brother Cary, was born July 21, 1950 in Chicago. Cary was born severely mentally and physically handicapped. He was placed in a special home the summer the twins turned five. Cary passed away on March 17, 1997 from esophageal cancer.

Carolyn joined and attended her first conference in Chicago in July of 2004 and re-instituted quarterly regional meetings in 2006. She served on the Board of Directors from 2008-2012 first as a member and then as the Recording Secretary as well as co-chaired 3 annual conferences. Carolyn officially became the Regional Coordinator for the Northeast Region in 2012.

TTSGI will be hosting a Zoom Gathering for members*** who lost their twin due to Traumatic and/or Violent Loss. Please see the details below and mark your calendar. It is important as only those who confirm attendance will be sent the Zoom link on Saturday, July 31.

When: Sunday, August 1, 2021

Time: 4:00pm East Coast, 3:00pm Midwest, 2:00pm Mountain, 1:00pm West Coast

Discussion Topic: ANGER and its Repercussions

How do we handle the process of ANGER caused by the loss of our twin through traumatic or violent circumstances?

“ANGER, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat. A person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline.” Please attend this Zoom Gathering which will be offering constructive ways to handle ANGER after your twin’s untimely death.

RSVP: with a “YES” response no later than 5pm on Friday, July 30 to carolyneshane@gmail.com

For the first meeting, we will plan for enough time to discuss our topic after we introduce ourselves. Do set enough time aside for a 1 ½ to a 2 hour gathering. We also plan to hold another gathering during the Winter.

Guidelines for TTSGI Specialized Group Zoom Gatherings:

1. During the sharing time, you will have the opportunity to share your story. You can choose, however, to participate in the session just by listening. You do not need to share a story if you are not comfortable doing so. Feel free to raise your hand when you are ready to share and the facilitator/host will recognize you. Your story should focus on yourself, your twin, and your experience of your twin loss, how you learned about it, how you feel, etc. Be sure to begin your sharing by letting us know your name and the state where you reside.
2. Our meetings are confidential and only between those of us on this call. Nothing is recorded. Please do not share any person’s personal identity or anything that would convey a person’s identity.
3. We are all on a similar path of healing. We may be at different places along the way but twinless twins understand the loss that other twinless twins feel so deeply. This is why “sharing time” is so special and can be helpful.
4. This Zoom gathering is a place of sanctity- a place of respect, support and safety. Listening to one another and hearing what is being shared can help us on our own journey of healing. We are a safe place to share because we do not ask one another questions nor do we judge anyone else’s feelings and experiences.
5. Please speak so everyone can hear you. Keep your mics on mute unless you are speaking. We ask that only one person speak at a time and that no questions are posed to that speaker once she/he finishes; we simply will move on to another twin speaker.
6. If it is ok with everyone, we will take a photo shot of the screen to share with the group at a later time and for the Twinless Times newsletter article.

We look forward to hearing from you. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to contact Carolyn at carolyneshane@gmail.com or by phone at 908-463-4770.

Twin hugs,
Carolyn twin to Cary
Margaret twin to Josie

***If you are not a current paid member of TTSGI and you want to participate in this Zoom gathering then you want to join TTSGI. To join just go on the Twinless Twin Support Group International website and join the organization. It really is an easy process. If you are having a bit of a financial issue then you just need to reach out to the Executive Director and request scholarship assistance.